|
Dear Parents and Coaches,
I
would again like to thank you for letting me participate on a part time
basis with your son’s team this season. From the limited amount of time that
I did spend with your sons I want you to know that I would be proud to
declare any one of them as my own. I found all of them to be gentlemen and
an absolute pleasure to be around. You can all be proud of yourselves as
parents. Especially you single moms.
I
was planning to pass on some of my thoughts concerning the season at the
team party but I was unable to find an appropriate moment, away from the
players, to do it. So this is why you are now getting this letter.
I
want to preface this letter with the message that my comments are offered
only as constructive criticism, not intended to attack or single out any one
individual, but to target all the adults, coaches and parents alike, as a
group. If any of you do take offense it is not my intent and I apologize in
advance. It is only in your son’s best interest that I offer these comments.
In
addition to promoting fun, my main concern throughout the season has been
the emotional and physical development of your sons, not just as
ballplayers, but as individuals soon to be young men.
Baseball is just one youth program that is utilized to teach your sons
life’s many lessons. What is not taught or learned in our school systems, or
at home, is often taught and learned in the arenas of our youth athletic
programs. In addition to fun and learning the game, this is what I see
the real purpose is for baseball and the other youth athletic programs.
They are not for the adults and for the overwhelming majority of you they
should not be viewed as a training ground for your son’s major league
career. We all know that the majority of players participating on youth
baseball teams will probably not get the opportunity to put on a high school
varsity baseball uniform. This is why fun, learning the game and the
emotional and physical development of your sons should take precedence.
A
number of times during the season parents and coaches, not just on our team,
would verbally and openly vent their frustration with a blown play in the
field or a mental error performed by a player. After being singled out for
the mistake to everybody in attendance, I would often watch the player’s
reaction to the embarrassment. Most all the players would either get quiet,
teary eyed and withdrawn or they would get mad and offer up an excuse for
the mistake. The third, and less frequent reaction, was a total melt
down. Regardless of which behavior was displayed, all produced the same
negative result. All reactions hindered positive thinking and they all
attacked the stability of the player’s confidence. These are two traits that
we as coaches, and you as parents, are trying to promote and build in your
sons.
In
addition to chasing their dreams and having fun, adults often overlook a
third goal of the players. Young athletes desperately want, and will go to
great lengths to attain, their coach’s and parent’s recognition and
approval. When your response is negative, publicly embarrassing and a
complete opposite of what is desired, total failure is declared and your
son’s self esteem is reduced. I think that we all agree that this is
an unnecessary and unwanted conclusion.
I
am asking on behalf of your sons that you quit taking the game so seriously
and refrain from publicly venting your frustrations on the field or from the
bleachers. These kids are going to make mistakes! A whole bunch of them! Do
not expect perfection from 12 year old boys playing a game that will produce
failure far more times than it will permit success!
Your role, as non coaching parents, in your sons’ baseball program is to
drive them to game, wash their uniforms (because they won’t do it
themselves), pump them up with as much positive and inspiring lingo as you
can muster up AND WATCH THEM COMPETE AND HAVE FUN! When they fail, keep them
from embarrassing themselves and the team, remove all the sharp objects from
their reach and give them time and space in an isolated area to dismiss
their anger or vent their frustration. Then help them corral the demons
inside their heads, pat them on the back and then send them right back at it
for another try!
If
you are a coaching father, teach them the skills necessary to succeed and
have fun, get them ready for the games and then again read the previous
paragraph. The lesser role you can play on game day, the better. Become a
cheerleader!
Youth baseball is a silly little game, played with a silly white ball, a
silly little stick, on a silly little field by a bunch of kids, who by
nature, want to act silly and have fun! Permit some silly, promote the heck
out of having fun, squash all the negatives and do whatever is
necessary to get your sons to believe in themselves! These are the
adults’ only duties. Your sons can handle the rest.
Respectfully,
Robin Carlsen
Author
GIVE THE GAME BACK TO THE KIDS
www.givethegamebacktothekids.com
|
